


Fall Into You

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Controlling Rey, Endgame Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Forbidden Love, I wrote this instead of therapy, Infidelity, Jealous Poe Dameron, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Not Related, M/M, Manipulative Sheev Palpatine, Minor Paige Tico/Jessika Pava, Minor Rose Tico/Jannah, Not Rey friendly, Rey is Not a Palpatine, Slow Burn, rey is not nice, seriously don’t read if it’s not your thing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:42:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24670072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Poe and Ben love each other. It would be so much easier if Ben wasn’t with Rey Johnson.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 8
Kudos: 2





	1. Engagement

**Author's Note:**

  * For [slinden](https://archiveofourown.org/users/slinden/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: For slinden. I hope you don’t, um, mind. 😬

When Poe Dameron was a kid, he had dreamed of finding the right partner.

His mother had given him her old wedding ring, which she’d nearly lost in an accident (she thought it was a blessing that they managed to rescue it with her, especially since it was one of the most treasured possessions that Kes, Poe’s father, had given her) — it could fit anybody, and Poe had kept it close, wondering when it would find the right partner. There were times, growing up, when he wondered if his best friend Ben would one day be that partner. 

_Is he the one?_ he would wonder on occasion even as others found their partners. _Is someone else_? Dad said that life wasn’t like the Harry Potter books; no one really married their childhood sweetheart. Poe hadn’t wanted to believe it, but it was true. 

He had hoped one day he'd marry Ben. And then Ben went off to work at great-grandfather Palpatine’s advertising company. 

***

”You can’t just go,” Poe protested. 

The look of glee, of utter explosive joy that Poe would have loved to see under other circumstances, faded from Ben’s face, and for a moment, Poe felt like a monster shitting all over Ben’s happiness like that. 

”I have to,” Ben said. “It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity, Poe. I can’t just turn it down. Just...please, don’t ruin this for me.”

”I’m trying to help you,” Poe said. “Really.” Then, “Ben...I heard about what he did to your grandfather. Really.”

”From my mother?” Ben snapped. “Is that who you can trust?”

Poe sighed. “Ben, don’t.”

Ben flinched back, almost like Poe had burned him. Then, “I’m sorry. It’s just...I’ll be okay. I need a job. Someplace, somewhere. Just...trust me?”

Poe swallowed. “I trust you. Good luck, Ben.”

He hugged Ben, almost impulsively, and he couldn’t stop the feeling like he was holding onto Ben before Ben slipped through his fingers. 

***

It was six years later, when Ben was twenty-nine, that he found a woman named Rey. 

Rey Johnson, that was her name. Even getting the news from Ben that he was engaged to Rey...well, Poe couldn’t help but feel like there was a sick feeling in his gut. 

It wasn’t right. He shouldn’t be feeling like Ben with someone else was burning him up inside. Especially since she’d apparently encouraged him to leave Palpatine’s company. (Then again, that didn’t help. He’d left for her...but Poe hadn’t been enough?)

Ben deserved happiness. He deserved it, with all his heart. It was Poe’s fault for not going after him. It was Poe’s fault for not being enough. Stuff like that. 

Still, what had been so unimportant about Poe that Ben hadn’t gone back to him? 

Maybe he hadn’t meant anything to Ben. 

Maybe he never would. 

Poe was almost tempted to hurl his mother’s wedding ring across the room. Almost. He didn’t, though. He couldn’t. 

He closed the drawer with his mother’s ring in it and sighed. It felt heavier than it has any right to be. 


	2. Faultlines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe meets up with Rey and Ben and starts noticing some cracks in their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.
> 
> Author’s Notes: Oh fuck, I’m going to get hatemail. Assuming many people comment.

The flight to meet Ben and Rey for their wedding was long. Really long. Poe was dreading it during the flight, and had to put on a _Space Wars_ movie to distract himself, and landing at Mos Eisley airport wasn’t a comfort. 

It was getting off the plane at Mos Eisley Airport that Poe swore that he was worn out, and not just from the jet lag. Even the idea of Ben marrying someone else...if Poe ever time traveled and met his kid self, how would he even begin to break the news?

 _This isn’t the Harry Potter books, Dameron_. 

Poe supposed. It was a good thing that it was 2021 and people could start traveling freely again. He wondered if Ben was here, or here. He’d recognize that tall, hulking figure anywhere...

It was then that he saw Ben. Dressed nicely, a pretty brunette woman on his arm. She was pretty, Poe thought, although there was something about her that gave Poe a strange feeling — but it was just jealousy, right? Really. 

It was when Ben saw Poe in turn that his face brightened. Practically lit up. “Poe!” he said. “I didn’t think you’d come.”

Poe shrugged. “Yeah, well...been busy, you know.”

”I heard.” Ben said. “Rey, this is Poe Dameron. We grew up together.”

”Is that so?” Rey said, and Poe could swear that he heard an edge of displeasure in her British accented (probably RP? Poe wasn’t an expert on British accents) voice. He’d had a chuckle in the past about Mickey Smith’s line in _Doctor Who_ about the missus and the ex. It was less funny when you were actually living that situation. 

“Is there a law against having past acquaintances?” Poe said wryly. 

”No,” said Rey, “But he’s talked about you quite a bit.”

”Really? Interesting.” _And yet he never came back for me_. 

“Anyway,” Ben said, sounding distinctly uncomfortable (serves him right, Poe thought), “Why don’t we drive you to our place, Poe? You look like you could use a place to rest.”

***

Poe felt almost guilty for being jealous even as Ben drove on, Rey riding shotgun. _Move on, Dameron. This isn’t the Harry Potter books._ To break the silence, he said, “So you’re out of Palpatine’s company, Ben. I’m glad.”

Ben shrugged. “You know, you were right. I should have listened to my mother. Palpatine was just...good at manipulating me. There was also his son, my great-uncle Snoke. And a guy named Ren. I didn’t leave at first because I thought I’d be letting them down.”

”It doesn’t matter now, Ben,” Rey insisted, and Poe felt a prickle of irritation and unease despite himself. “Let the past die. Kill it if you have to. You said so yourself.”

”You don’t have to kill the past,” Poe said. “Just learn from it. I mean...you can’t kill the past any more than you can kill a part of yourself.”

”So I’ve been told,” Rey said. Then, “Ben, didn’t you base your main character of your John Doe books off Poe?”

”What?” Poe said. Even his voice sounded a bit distant.

”Yeah,” Ben said. “I wanted to make him vivid, and the first person I thought of was you.”

”Okay...” Poe couldn’t say what to say to that. Obviously, Ben hadn’t completely forgotten about him, but why plan on marrying Rey? Then again, maybe it was just a way of remembering his childhood friend, no more, no less. ”So, what’s it about?”

”Well,” Ben said, “It’s about a former smuggler. I was about to make him a spice runner — like, someone who smuggles drugs. But then I figured it would be a little bit...unfortunate in its implications. But he’s a smuggler who becomes a pilot for the good guys, the Republic.”

”I never was one for cheesy space operas,” Rey said. 

”I like that idea,” Poe said fervently. 

”Of course.” It sounded like Rey was trying to placate them both. “Rose is definitely more into that stuff. _Star Trek_ and such.”

Ben smiled faintly. “Rey’s learned to put up with my quirks over the years we’ve been together.”

”All right.” It didn’t sound right to Poe. Wasn’t loving someone appreciating all of them, and not just the “normal” parts?

"I have,” Rey said. “You could say it was like something out of a fairy tale, when we met. Like _Beauty and the Beast_. I saved him. Changed him for the better.”

She sounded almost dreamy even as she spoke, and Poe felt a sort of prickling in him. Irritation.

”I don’t think love involves changing people,” Poe said. “I mean...the way I see it, love involves appreciating all the qualities in a person. Not just their good parts.”

”Whatever you say,” Rey said, almost icily. 

The car ride to Ben’s place was quiet enough to be uncomfortable. 

***

”Well, welcome to our humble abode,” Ben said to Poe even as they stepped out of Ben's Silencer. “I never thought I’d live where my uncle once lived, but...here we are.”

It was a nice house, Poe would say that. “Whose idea was it?”

”Rey’s,” Ben said. “She said it would be nice to live where the Skywalker legacy began. I am technically the last Skywalker.”

Poe frowned. Hadn’t Luke, from what he’d gathered, hated Tatooine and wanted to get out first chance he got? 

”Okay,” he said. 

Rey sighed. “Did you have to take him along, Ben? He’s been an Eeyore about everything ever since we picked him up...”

”I’m just getting used to everything,” Poe interjected. “It’s been six years since I last saw him.”

A shrug from Rey. “You’re not the only one who cares for him.”

_Good grief..._

They entered the house, a Yorkiepoo making a faint howling sort of noise as Ben, Rey and Poe entered. 

”Dio!” Ben said, laughing. “I like you too, boy.” He sighed, turned to Poe. “He’s a rescue. Nice boy, if a bit enthusiastic.”

”Hello.” Poe scratched the dog behind the ears. It reminded him a lot of the dog he’d left Finn to look after, BB. “Oh, he’s a beautiful boy! I always liked dogs.”

Ben smiled at him, a smile that was enough to make Poe’s heart flutter. “I thought you would. Erm...there’s a spare room down the hall upstairs if you want to take it, you know. After you have dinner with us, of course.”

”Right. Dinner.”

”Ben can cook,” Rey said, smiling. “I can’t do it very well.”

”Yeah,” Poe said. “I can imagine he’s a good cook.”

They ate, some meal that reminded Poe of when they were little in the town of Alderaan. Complete with Poe’s favorite stew, the stew Leia made whenever he came over. And the stew Poe’s mother would make for Ben. Poe raised an eyebrow. “You remembered that stew?”

Ben shrugged. “I Googled the recipe,” he said. “It’s good to keep your childhood favorites in mind.”

Poe smiled, faintly. 

”So,” Rey said, “What do you do for a living, Poe?”

”What do I do?” Poe said. “I’m actually a writer myself.” He decided to not elaborate on the fact his books were about the boy he’d been in love with, books about a kind young boy turning evil. That didn’t really matter, and the car ride had been uncomfortable as is. 

”Birds of a feather," Rey said blithely. 

Poe supposed she wasn’t wrong, not really. 

”I’d love to read your work,” Ben said. “If you want to.”

”Yeah. Same here.” Then, “Is it finished?”

”First book came out recently,” Ben said. “Starts off with John’s smuggling years, when he’s sixteen.”

”Precocious for his age,” Poe said wryly. 

”Well, to be fair, he had a fight with his dad and ran away.” Ben sighed. “It was a bit of a healing mechanism. Writing it.”

“I can see that.”

It was a relief when dinner was over and Poe could excuse himself, saying that he needed to check on some things (and considering that Finn was watching BB, it wasn’t completely a lie). He was already getting sick of the situation resembling an aged-up version of Taylor Swift’s “You Belong With Me”.

***

It was while Poe was texting Finn about BB and getting a cute picture of his dog with a toy squirrel in his mouth that he heard Rey’s voice, frustrated and heated. “...you think I don’t see the way you look at him?” she was saying. “Ben — if it weren’t for me, you’d still be at Palpatine’s company being treated like rubbish.”

”I know.” Ben sounded placating. “Rey, I haven’t seen him in six years. He was my best friend.”

 _Was_. Sighing in frustration, Poe put in his headphones and began to work on _The Rise of Kylo Ren_. He doubted he could wait until this wedding was over and done with. 


	3. It Suits You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Poe go tux shopping and feelings threaten to burst to the surface.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

There were times when Poe was a kid that he woke up in places like, say, Ben’s house when they had sleepovers and he felt almost like he was home. Home, if in a different place. But there was something about being in this place where he couldn’t help but wonder: was this really home? Could it potentially be home for Ben, really, truly?

He got out of bed, preparing for the day, and headed downstairs. He didn’t miss the smile that Ben gave him, or the cold stare Rey gave him. 

Maybe it was warranted. Maybe they were being inappropriately chummy in front of Ben’s fiancée. Even that knowledge...fuck, that was painful. Poe supposed he could understand the term “twisting the knife” more. 

He sat at the breakfast table, pouring his cereal in before pouring the milk in too. “So,” Poe said, trying to distract from the look that Rey was giving Ben when he was trying to sprinkle chocolate chips on his oatmeal, “When’s the wedding?”

Rey’s disapproving look went away, replaced with the picture of pleasantness — or what she thought it was. Like Jekyll and Hyde, Poe thought. “A week,” she said. “August twentieth.”

Ben smiled, clearly seeming a bit shy. “Rey was very excited for it,” he said. “It took some negotiations to get it down to the twentieth.”

 _Huh_...

Maybe it was just normal wedding disagreements. It had to be, Poe thought. It wasn’t like there was trouble in paradise, right? 

”Ben wants you to be the best man," Rey said. “He thinks highly of you."

Apparently a lovesick idiot’s guts were meant to be twisted. “Right,” Poe said. “I’ll do whatever I can. If it makes Ben happy.”

”We’re gonna have to organize a lot,” Ben said. “Finding a venue. Getting the clothes. Stuff like that.” He sighed. “Fortunately, Paige, Rose’s sister — she’s been planning all that stuff with Rey. She’s smart.”

”That’s good.” Then, “Which venue?”

"Anchorhead,” Rey said. “Pretty fitting, isn’t it?”

”Yeah.” Ben had that look on his face like how-am-I-supposed-to-tell-her. “Yeah, exactly."

***

There was definitely wedding planning going on. Wedding planning — shopping for the bridesmaids dresses, and the bride’s dress as well. It was while they were shopping for tuxes that Poe had some time alone with Ben. Something that he anticipated — and dreaded. How did you even begin to catch up with the man you loved, who waltzed out of your life only to return with someone else? 

”You okay?” Ben said. 

”Good,” Poe said. “I worked on a bit of my manuscript.”

”Is that so,” Ben said. 

"Yeah.” Poe sighed. “I’m planning on it being a redemption story in the final book. Everyone loves a good redemption story. Vader got redeemed in _Space Wars_ , you know.”

”It should be interesting,” Ben said. “What goes into redemption? How do you reintegrate into society? How do you make up for things you can’t forgive yourself for?”

Poe furrowed his brow. “You sound like you’re pretty close to the subject matter.”

”Yeah. Poe...” A sigh. “Some of the things I’ve done...you wouldn’t forgive me for them if you knew.”

”You were manipulated by Palpatine.”

”But I should have been better. I guess that’s why Rey and I...fit. She’s the only one who’d stay with me after knowing what I did. She doesn’t see all of me — the ugly parts. It can be a relief, if exhausting.” A beat. "I can’t be her Beast. I don’t have the components for it.”

Poe frowned. “Maybe you don’t have to be,” he said. “Maybe you’re exactly the man you should be.”

_And maybe Rey should be fucking grateful for the man she has instead of trying to remake you in her image..._

“I hope so. You know,” Ben said, “So are you. You’re a wonderful man. A gift.”

”So are you.”

They got out of the car then, went shopping for tuxes. Poe didn’t miss the way Ben looked when he tried one of them on. “Holy shit, Poe, you look beautiful! I mean...for the wedding. Really.”

”What’s that supposed to mean?” Poe said. 

”It fits you,” Ben said. "And Rey...I can imagine the dress she’s trying on is just as beautiful.”

”Yeah. I bet.” Poe couldn’t shake the feeling that Ben was saying it all to placate Rey, even though Rey wasn’t there. As if Ben would know, and Poe would know...even if Rey didn’t. 

***

”Good choices in tuxes,” Rey said to them, even as they checked everything else. Rose and Paige were with her, two Vietnamese women, sisters. The difference was their facial shape — Rose’s face was rounder, Paige’s more of a heart shape. Paige’s girlfriend Jess was also with them, and Rose’s girlfriend Jannah. And Rose’s friend Zorii. 

”Thanks,” Poe said. “Really.” That was the best he could say. He couldn’t really look at Ben either. He didn’t want to spoil Rey or Ben’s happiness, not when the big day wasn’t far away. 


End file.
